Remaindered

I've purchased two Amazon shorts today, one by Lee Goldberg, and the other by his uncle, Burl Barer. As both shorts are wickedly clever, and share certain "attitude similarities," I must credit DNA, in addition to creativity for their mutual success. "Remaindered" is a writer's nightmare and a reader's delight - and if Stephen King will forgive the pun, "Misery" loves company. In this short, a suddenly downsized best selling writer meets a true book lover at the Spokane K-Mart. The story is perfect for an episode of "Alfred Hitchcock Presents," except they don't make that show anymore. Perhaps Hitchcock being dead is a contributing factor. Spend the 49 cents to buy this Amazon short -- it is excellent!

A fast, fun read about an author who goes off the deep end. Highly recommended if you enjoy dark humor.

...because I'm actually very excited about all of Lee's writing, folks! So sue me!

It just so happened that tonight I was on the prowl for a little pick me up...Lee Gee's story came at no better time.

Shagalicious little read about a man who had to go and see a horse -- w-w-wait...no, that's not it: it's rather about this dude named Kevin, who's a crime writer of certain former renown, who's at K-Mart doing a book signing for a fifth edition print of one of his former bestselling novels. Then, there's this girl wearing a tight top, who leans just a wee too close to our man Kevin for comfort, setting off a whole string of nasty little events, and then, and then, and then...

Look, bub, you didn't come here for an explanation (that's readily available from the Amazon cover sheet for REMAINDERED), you came for a review, didn'tcha? So that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to review.

Goldberg is another one of those Amazon writers who are so good at what they do, it hurt my grey matter (if that were even possible). I'm guessing part of the major reason why Lee Goldberg doesn't continuously feature atop of the NYT bestseller list is because he's not an inheritor of the Windsors fortune and doesn't have either the last names Gates, Murdock, Black, Onassis, or Hearst. Needless to say, he probably also hasn't gone down for the count whispering those fabled immortal words..."rosebud..."

No, seriously...Lee Goldberg is a funny man.

He's the equivalent of a "Dean Martin" to your proverbial "Frankie Sinatra." Read him, you'll see. Lee's a right card, a groovy man about town. He knows how to string a few words together, and there are clear signs within the confines of these friendly 21 pages that he knows a thing or two about phonics. Hooked on it, actually.

Writers and editors are always on about this elusive thing called "rhythm."

Well this story's got it!

Prepare for a veritable concerto of sound when your eyes scan over this bad boy, and for those of us who are aurally-challenged, you'd do best to cover your ears.

Dialogues were nicely spread over this Short, and Goldberg doesn't skimp like they do at some European breakfast places. Like a tall stack of pancakes from IHOP, Goldberg is generous with his prose, but not overassuming.

This is a fun read, folks, the sort of thing you can finish off on the morning commute into the office on the subway reading it on your little player as you sip a cup of much-too-expensive flavoured coffee from that company with the mermaid on the logo and chow down on a schmaltz-inducing carbo-snack.

REMAINDERED's tighter than a German Atlantic-bound ship's hull -- or a German schoolmarm's steely countenance, for that matter -- and when I'm reading fiction, that's the way things have got to be. German examples abound tonight, I know, but it's a take no prisoners approach to fiction-writing, and my man Goldy's got it in motherlode-size.

Look, I'm talking too much. Get your hands on this diamond-in-the-making already, will ya?

Don't be some cheapsake and buy some trashy pop-lit when you can snag a leviathan of a tale right here in REMAINDERED for less than the cost of a phone call to your parents in Topeka.

Goldberg's got the angles covered, baby, just like his protagonist Kevin does.

But you won't know it if you don't read it for yourself first.

-- ADM in the Golden City. Out.